I Hope this encourages someone today! The enemy would love to tear our relationships apart but I think that forgiveness is a real key to navigating tuff relational problems today and you don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive.
Life gets much easier when you learn to accept all the apologies you never got. The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative. It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.” It’s realizing that grudges from the past are a perfect waste of today’s happiness, and that holding one is like letting unwanted company live rent free in your head.
1 Thessalonians 5:18.
In everything give thanks; for this is the will if God in Christ Jesus concerning you!
Forgiveness is a promise – one you want to keep. When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self or others that have offended you. It has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime, and everything to do with all parties freeing themselves of the burden of being an eternal victim. I still have loved ones in my life who have succumbed to that perpetual victimization. They have completely broken off relationship with not just myself but my whole family. Stuck in the past offenses and sins long since repented of, conjecture and skepticism becomes their guide because of their unwillingness to be relational. The problem is that often even well meaning folks are convinced that lack of relationship is an effective punishment, or a way to justify their own pain and fears about the failures of their loved ones. This kind of unforgiving response only drives loved ones further apart and to the point that they no longer know one another. It only takes a short period of time for people to become someone you know nothing about. There you have it! The offense or sin that originally brought destruction to a relationship is now compensated with the offence of abandonment, distance, and exile. Whole families can become divided when out of pride, self-righteousness, and un-forgiveness; one decides to carry the burden of victimization, fear, and mistrust.
How do we then navigate these kinds of relationships? What do you do when folks won’t walk alongside of you, or are unwilling to listen to discern your heart and have estranged them selves from you? Simple!
First accept the apologies you may not ever get! Free yourself from the burdens of the past.
Secondly, free yourself in Christ! He is the only one that really matters and is the only one that has the ability to wash our sins away. He is our righteousness, our justification, our advocate, and our satisfaction!
Thirdly, Love on them by praying for them. You may not be able to convince them that you have changed or pacify their disdain for you but, The Holy Spirit can! Pray God’s Spirit will bless, comfort and correct the perspectives of un-forgiveness, fear, and mistrust, then let Him take care of the rest!
Do this and you too can kick the unwanted renters of guilt, shame, and condemnation out of your head and... Know that we are forgiven!